FG: Mayor Adam West Becomes Batman Once Again
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! After a string of recent robberies have the police of Quahog dumbfounded, it's up to Mayor Adam West to put on his old Batman costume and save the day once again…but can this delusional mayor handle it alone? Rated T for crude humor.
1. Bat West Rising

**Mayor Adam West Becomes Batman Once Again**

**By:** Master Jin Sonata

**Original Concept**: Master Jin Sonata & Time Master (T.M.)

**Genre: **Humor/Mystery

**Written:** May 2007

* * *

**Author's notes**

My first Family Guy fic. Go easy on me!

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Family Guy or its crazy cast of characters.

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**Mayor West's Office**

It was a typical evening in Quahog. The Griffons were doing their usual stupid and crazy antics somewhere in town, and Mayor Adam West was conducting important business in his office.

**_Riiiiiiiing…… Riiiiiiiing……… Riiiiiiiing_**

"**What do you want from me? What do you keep ringing at me all day? Are you trying to convey some sort of message or something to me?"** said Mayor West to his telephone. He was hiding stealthily behind hs desk, while his phone rang off the hook all day.

His assistant then entered the room.

"**Maybe you should answer the damn phone once in a while so it'll stop ringing at you,"** his assistant said, stopping in front of his desk.

"**Shhhhh…I'm onto it…you'll ruin my plan to shut it up!"** he said, peeking out from behind the desk.

"**Whatever,"** the assistant said, rolling her eyes. **"Here's a letter for you,"** she said, before leaving his office.

Mayor West got up from behind his desk and pulled out a pair of scissors from his desk. He proceeds to cut the telephone line to make the phone stop ringing.

"**Who's smarter now?"** he taunted slyly at the now silenced phone. He then looks down and picks up the letter and reads it.

* * *

_**Dear Mayor West**_

_**The Quahog Police Department needs your help in solving a string of mysterious robberies. Please come to the Police Station on the double.**_

_**Sighed, Officer Joe Swanson**_

* * *

The Mayor put down the letter, a look of determination in his eyes. He walks over to his closet and opens it and begins going through his costumes. He pulls out a clown costume, a ballerina costume, a moose costume, and eventually a French Maid costume.

"**Haven't seen this in a while. Ah, those were the days,"** he reminisced, unaware that his assistant was looking into his office with a 'WTF' look on her face.

Soon he found his old 1960's Batman costume. He slipped it on, having a bit of trouble since it was a couple sizes too small.

"**Beware, villains of Quahog, Batman has returned,"** he said to no one in particular. He walked over to his desk and looked around for a button.

"**Now where's that button to the trap-door that'll whisk me away to the Bat-Cave? I need to quickly get to depths of Quahog somehow…"** he thought out loud.

After minutes of thinking, he looked behind him at his 3rd-Story window.

**Outside The Mayor's Office**

Mayor West's assistant was just getting off of work. She stepped outside and began to walk home, when she heard a loud crash from above. She turned around just in time to see the Batman-ish Mayor West crash into the pavement after he had jumped out from his office window from above..

"**Sir, the button to the entrance of your Bat-Cave is within your mansion, dumbass,"** she said, before leaving the area.

"**Oh…right…"** Mayor West said, wincing in pain, his legs and back broken.

"**Um…a little help here...anyone?"** he said, still lying there on the ground alone unable to move.

**End of Chapter 1**

_**Whatcha think? Please review!**_


	2. Bat Blunder

**Streets Of Quahog**

After the literal fallout at his office, Peter Griffin and Brian, who happened to be driving by the building at that moment, pick up Mayor West. He sat in the front seat next to Peter with a cast on his legs and a back-brace, while Brian sat in the back seat.

**"Oh wow this is so great! I'm actually sitting next to Batman himself!"** Peter said excitedly as he drove toward the Police Station.

**"I thank you, good citizen for your assistance,"** Mayer West responded. **"Here, have a Bat-Cookie,"** he added, giving Peter what looked to be just an Oreo cookie.

**"Uh, Peter, you do know that this is just Mayor West dressed up as Batman, right?"** Brian said, eyebrow raised.

**"Oh quit kidding, Brian. How can you not tell that he's the real thing?"** Peter questioned.

**"Oh, I don't know, Peter. Remember the last time you mistook someone for the real thing?"** Brain reminded him.

**Flashback **

Peter is standing in front of a building at night when he sees, who he thinks is a woman, walk out of it, completely oblivious of the very large neon sign above him that read 'Cosplay Club Convention.'

**"Oh my gosh its Lara Croft! Say, I always wanted to know: are those things real?"** Peter said, poking the person's fake breasts.

**"I'm a man you moron!"** the fat ugly costumed guy said, punching Peter out cold before walking way.

**End of Flashback**

**"Believe me, Brian, I know the real Batman when I see it,"** Peter so cleverly countered.

As they stopped at a traffic light, all three saw a guy speeding through a red light across the street from them.

**"That guy just broke the law! Batman, you must stop him!"** Peter said to Mayor West.

**"You're right! Evil will never prevail when the Dark Knight is around,"** Mayor West proclaimed. He pulled out a Batarang from his utility belt, leans out of the car window, and throws it at the car. The Batarang missing the car by a mile, and hits an oil tanker, blowing it up on impact. The blast destroyed half of the intersection, minus Peter's car.

**"Nice going,"** Brian said sarcastically to the two.

**"Eheheheheheh… Let's get outta here,"** Peter said quickly.

**"Agreed,"** Mayor West responded.

The two drove off before the Quahog Police could show up at the scene.

After that accident, they continued their way to the Police Station.

**End of Chapter 2**

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	3. Bat Sidekick?

**Quahog Police Headquarters**

Mayor West, Peter, and Brian arrive at the front of Quahogs' Police Headquarters. Once inside, Officer Joe Swanson approaches the three with a somewhat stressful expression on his face.

"**Hey Joe, how's it going? Gee, you look like you just had to send out a bunch of your guys to investigate a big tanker accident at the city intersection in which we had no part in doing whatsoever since we were in the area when it happened,"** Peter said haphazardly to Joe. Brian and Mayor West both glare at Peter. **"What?!"** Peter asks the two, oblivious to what he just said.

"**Yeah, that's about the blunt of what's been happening here lately. But the main reason I'm still worked up is that the burglar I want Batman here to help us capture has just robbed another bank,"** Joe explains.

"**Cursed burglars. When will they learn that when they break the law, Batman will be there to stop them?"** Mayor West responds to no one in particular.

"**This is why we need your expertise to help solve this case and bring that criminal to justice,"** Joe adds.

"**Never fear, Mr. Policeman, I will do my best to bring justice to Quahog,"** Mayor West says in a determined tone.

That's when Peter has a brilliant idea.

"**Say, Batman, you wouldn't happen to need a side-kick to help out in your mission, would ya?"** Peter says in an eager tone.

"**Well…I guess having an assistant wouldn't be too much of a bother…especially since my old side-kick, The Boy Wonder, fell victim to the vat of hot nacho cheese on our last mission 30 years ago…"** Mayor West contemplates.

"**Wait a minute Peter, you know yourself you make a lousy superhero sidekick. Remember that apprenticeship you took up at the Justice League Headquarters?"** Brian reminds Peter.

**Flashback**

Peter is inside the Justice Leaguer Headquarters dressed in a really fruity heroes leotard. He is showing a bright green rock at Superman, who is currently lying on the floor begging Peter to get it away from him.

"**No! Get that thing away from me, dammit! Do you even know what the hell that rock is?!"** Superman says angrily to Peter as his strength wanes from his body.

"**Aw c'mon Superman! I just want you to just get a load of this cool rock some bald guy sold me out on the street!"** Peter insists, inching closer to Superman, until the rest of the Justice League heroes enter the room and start dragging Peter away from the area.

**End Of Flashback**

"**Oh I don't believe this fine citizen could be too much trouble. I'll give him a chance,"** Mayor West says.

"**Oh yeah! In your face, Brian!"** Peter cheers, dancing around when he suddenly trips over officer Swanson and goes flying down a flight of stairs.

"**Ooh, that's gotta hurt,"** Joe comments.

"**Yep,"** Brian responds.

"**Anyone up for some coffee?"** Mayor West offers the two.

"**Sure,"** Joe and Brian say simultaneously before leaving the area.

**End of Chapter 3**

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	4. Bat Signal

**Rooftop Of Quahog's Police Headquarters**

Joe, Mayor West, Peter, and Brian were heading up toward the roof of the Police Headquarters. Peter is now sporting a yellow and red Robin-esque superheroes outfit, complete with mask and cape.

"**You're lucky, my faithful new sidekick. My old chum had a spare outfit he never got to wear,"** Mayor West said to Peter.

"**Oh wow, and it fits perfectly too. Geez, the old Robin must have really let himself go during his later years,"** Peter commented, getting cozy in his new outfit.

"**So tell me again, Batman, why are we heading up to the roof?"** Joe questioned, as Brian, who seemed to be struggling a lot, was carrying him up the stairs on his back.

"**You know…I have no idea…why are we heading up toward the roof?"** Mayor West questioned.

"**You'll see,"** Peter said, opening the door leading outside to the rooftop.

Everyone stopped and gazed at the giant strobe light sitting in the middle of the rooftop.

"**What the…where did this come from?"** Joe questioned, raising an eyebrow. Brian finally got Joe out in the open, when he finally collapses from exhaustion.

"**Isn't it neat? It's a Bat-Signal! I ordered it off of E-Bay last year but never used it,"** Peter said, walking up to it and showing it to the others.

"**Excellent. With this, the Police Station will be able to signal me whenever that crook strikes again. Then we'll zoom into action and bag that baddie in no time,"** Mayor West contemplated out loud.

"**Amazing…"** Joe started to say.

"**See? Aren't I the resourceful one?"** Peter responded slyly to Joe

"**Actually, I meant amazing in the sense of 'how the hell can you afford these things?"** Joe corrected.

Brian got up and walked over toward the others. He got up onto the light and looked down at its symbol.

"**Um. Peter, about this Bat Signal…why does it have a picture of a spider on it?"** Brian questioned.

"**What are you talking about, Brian?"** Peter said, flipping on the device. Everyone looked up toward the sky to see the picture of a spider shining into the night sky instead of that of a bat. **"Oh…that's what you mean…uh oh…heheheheh…"** Peter laughed nervously.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Spiderman swings down from above and lands in front of everyone.

"**What seems to be the problem?"** Spiderman asks the group.

"**Oh…um…well…you see, it was kinda a false alarm…" **Peter responded a bit hesitantly.

"**Oh. Just perfect. I get called out from my dinner date with Mary Jane, ready to propose to her, all for a false alarm. Nice going, fatass,"** Spiderman says in a frustrated tone, punching out Peter before swinging away from vicinity.

"**Well…I didn't see that coming…"** Brian said, rolling his eyes.

"**Well fellas, how about I just call you when we receive more information on this criminal?"** Joe says to the group.

"**Good idea. I need to make a trip to the Bat Cave to stock up on supplies anyway,"** Mayor West says. **"To the Bat Cave!"**

Mayor West runs off toward the edge of the building and jumps, hoping to land in his Bat Mobile, but completely forgot to call it toward their location, and crash lands on top of Peter's car instead.

"**Idiots…"** Brian mutters before walking away from the area.

**End of Chapter 4**

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	5. Bat Impression

**On The Road**

Peter, Brian, and Mayor West were back on the road again. They were on their way to the Bat Cave, located in an undisclosed location.

"**This is so exciting, Brian. And Lois never believed that someday I would become a superhero. Heh, shows what she knows,"** Peter said as he drove down the street.

"**I must admit Peter, I was skeptical that you'd get another chance to be a hero, but look at you now, you're a fat idiot wearing a fruity costume. What more could one ask for?"** Brain said in a cenacle, yet nonchalant tone.

"**Hey, Mr. Batman, sir? Is it all right if I stop off at my house first for a moment? I have to show my family my new career as a hero,"** Peter asked.

"**Sure, why not?"** Mayor West responded. **"I would love to meet the family."**

**Peter's House**

The three arrive at Peter's house. They enter the front door, where Peter's family sitting in the living room watching TV.

"**Hey everyone, look who has become a superhero,"** Peter said in an enticing tone.

"**Oh my goodness! Peter! You brought Batman here with you!"** Lois said in total surprise. **"It's such an honor!"**

"**Way to go dad!"** Chris cheered on.

Stewie walks into the room and stops dead in his tracks when he sees Peter in a bright green and red leotard.

"**Ugh, seeing Fat-Man here in this outfit is even more disturbing than when that horny neighbor of ours put on that Catwoman outfit last week,"** Stewie said, cringing at the thought.

**Flashback**

Stewie is in his room minding his own business when he looks out of his window and notices their neighbor Quagmire opening a package he ordered through the mail.

**"Heheh, this must the male-dominatrix outfit I ordered last month,"** Quagmire says eagerly as he opened the box and pulls out a Catwoman costume instead, complete with fake boobs and all.

**"What the hell is this? I didn't order a Catwoman outfit…"** Quagmire said in disappointment, before stopping to look around to see if anyone was watching, for he decided to slip on the costume to see how it felt.

**"Hey, this isn't all too bad,"** Quagmire said with some satisfaction.

Suddenly, one of Batman's enemies, The Penguin, waddles up to him.

**"So there you are, Catwoman. Ready to go on our date?"** the Penguin asks, doing a pelvic thrust motion with his hips at Quagmire.

Quagmire then turned and ran the hell out of the area. Stewie stared at the event with a 'WTF' look on his face.

**"Note to self, kill the horny neighbor,"** Stewie said to himself.

**End of Flashback**

**"Well, Peter, I'm glad to see that you're doing something you always dreamed of doing,"** Lois said.

**"Yeah, and to think you didn't believe I could become a hero,"** Peter said.

**"C'mon, my fellow sidekick. Let us be off to the Bat Cave,"** Mayor West said, as he and Peter left for the car. Brian however, stayed behind.

**"You're not going?"** Meg asked Brian.

**"Nah, I'll just wait until the 11 O Clock news to hear the latest details on their crazy hijinks,"** Brain said, pouring him a cup of scotch.

**End of Chapter 5**

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	6. Bat Cavern

**Adam West's Mansion**

Peter and Mayor West arrive at his prestigious mansion in the farthest reaches of Quahog. They get out of the car and enter through the front door.

"**Oh wow, this is a pretty swanky place you have here, Batman,"** Peter said as he observed everything within the mansion.

"**Yes…it took a lot of tax-payer money over the years to build this beauty,"** Mayor West commented, while Peter paid no attention to what he just said. **"Come over here to my secret passage underneath the staircase," **Mayor West then said, walking over to the side of the stairs.

"**You have a downstairs too?"** Peter says.

"**Oh yes, but its no ordinary downstairs my friend,"** Mayor West commented, pulling a nearby lever. **"This is the entrance to the Bat Cave."**

"**Oh sweet! Let's go!"** Peter said, stepping in first.

The wall next to the staircase flips around, revealing a staircase into the depths of the mansion.

As they both began descending down the stairs, the path got darker along the way.

"**Oh man its so dark down here…allow me to use my trusty flashlight," **Peter said, reaching into his personal utility belt to grab a flashlight.

"**No, wait, I wouldn't do that if I were you…"** Mayor West warned, but was too late.

Peter flashed the light around him, revealing several thousand bats hanging upside down the ceiling, which now awoke due to the disturbance of the light.

"**Uh oh…"** Peter gulped as all of the bats in the area screeched and began swarming him. **"Ahhh! Get them off, get them off!!!"** Peter yelped as he ended up stepping off of the staircase and plummeted into the depths of the cavern, landing with a crash on top of Mayor West's Bat Mobile, damaging it greatly.

"**Oh dear…that's the seventeenth vehicle that's been destroyed in my career. Well, at least the damage this time isn't as bad as the last time my car was wrecked…"** Mayor West reminisces.

**Flashback**

Mayor West and his original sidekick are in the Bat Cave ready to head out on their next mission.

"**Robin, would you press the red button on the control panel to let the Bat Mobile drive itself toward the cave's exit?"** Mayor West asks.

"**Sure thing,"** Robin says, accidentally pressing the wrong button on the control panel. **"Oops…"**

The Bat Mobile turns itself around on the revolving platform and drives itself off into the depths of the Bat Cave, crashing at the bottom with a huge explosion.

Mayor West looks at Robin and sighs.

"**I'll the Bat Skateboards again…"** Mayor West says, walking out of the cave.

**End Of Flashback**

"**Oh man, I am so sorry, Batman. I'll make sure something like that doesn't happen again!"** Peter says as he slides off of the busted Bat Mobile.

"**Don't worry about, I'll just repair the damages using the city's reserve budget,"** Mayor West says.

Just then, the phone rings by the control panel. Mayor West heads over and answers it.

"_**Hello, Batman? This is Joe Swanson. We have received reports of the burglar we are trying to capture near the outskirts of Quahog. Be on the lookout,"**_ Joe says before hanging up.

"**It seems we have our first stakeout mission. Let us head outside into the hills and scope the area,"** Mayor West says, as he and Peter leave the cavern through the back exit.

**End of Chapter 6**

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	7. Bat Vault

**Outside Adam West's Mansion**

Mayor West and Peter were outside the mansion on the top of a hill, looking out for any signs of the notorious thief wandering the vicinity.

"**Keep your eyes peeled, my trusty side-kick. No telling when that no good burglar will strike,"** Mayor West said as he scoped the area through his Bat-Binoculars.

"**Not a problem, Batman,"** Peter said, wandering off to the other side of the hill to look there.

Just then, someone tapped Peter on his shoulder.

"**Hey, bud, can you tell me the password to enter into Mayor West's treasure vault inside his mansion?"** the man asks.

"**Yeah, sure. Just enter the combination…uh…lets see…I think its ' 6-2-44-12' on the keypad,"** Peter said, not turning to see whom it was.

"**Thanks pal!"** the man said, leaving area.

Mayor West went to Peter shortly afterwards.

"**Any sort of suspicious activity on your end?"** Mayor West asks.

"**Nah, not really,"** Peter said. **"Just some dude who wanted to know the password into your treasure…." **Peter continued, before stopping to realize what just happened.

"**You did…what?"** Mayor West said to Peter, raising an eyebrow.

"**Ah crap…"** Peter said, now embarrassed at his lack of common sense.

"**Come, let's go to the mansion and stop him before he gets away!"** Mayor West says, as he and Peter head back inside the building.

**Treasure Vault Area Of Mayor West's Mansion**

Once both of the guys were inside, they headed straight for Mayor West's treasure vault. Inside, they saw that all of Mayor West's treasures and prized collectables were gone.

"**Oh no, we're too late!"** Peter said. **"He took everything."**

"**Not everything…"** Mayor West said, walking to pick up a small box of candy. **"He didn't take my taffy. And boy do I love taffy…" **Mayor West added, chewing the candy taffy and savoring its taste.

Suddenly, the door leading outside of the vault closed, locking both of them inside.

"**Oh great, now how do we get out?"** Peter asked.

"**Not to worry, my friend. This vault is set to automatically open itself up every 96 hours just in case something like this were to happen," **Mayor West responded.

"**Oh…"** Peter said.

There was a brief silence before Peter spoke again.

"**Uh oh …I have to take a dump…"** Peter said.

"**This is going to be a while…"** Mayor West said, sighing.

End of Chapter 7 

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	8. Bat Failure

**Treasure Vault Area Of Mayor West's Mansion**

After several hours of waiting, the door to the vault finally opened, and Peter and Mayor West were free.

"**Oh thank goodness we're out of that place," **Peter said as he stumbled out of the vault gasping for air.

"**Yes. Another minute of smelling your poop and I would have passed out," **Mayor West said, coughing as he crawled out of the vault

"**So what do we do now?"** Peter asked.

"**We go to the Bat Cave and track the criminal's location,"** Mayor West said.

Peter nodded as the two went back down into the Bat Cave. Along the way, Peter again flash his flashlight into the bats on the ceiling, causing him to fall down the stairs when they attacked him.

**The Bat Cave**

Back in the Bat Cave, Mayor West was using his computer to locate the criminal who took all of his valuables.

"**I found something,"** Mayor West said. **"The criminal seems to be heading back in our general direction…now the radar indicates that the criminal is in front of my mansion again…and it looks like the criminal is now in my bedroom stealing my stash of cash from under my mattress…and now the radar indicates that the criminal is fleeing from the scene of the crime…"**

Mayor West turned to Peter.

"**Do you know what this means, trusty sidekick?"** Mayor West asked Peter.

"**That you found the burglar?"**

"**No, that I was just robbed again and the criminal got away,"** Mayor West said.

"**Ah crap…"** Peter said. **"We gotta go after him before he robs another place. It reminds me of the time the Hamburgular held up the local Burger King twice in the same week."**

**Flashback**

Peter is sitting at Burger King eating his lunch, when the Hamburgular from McDonalds rushes into the building with a gun and demands the cooks to give him free burgers, only to be jumped by the Burger King mascot. The two start beating the crap out of each other, knocking over several tables around the restaurant and making a ton of noise, while Peter paid no attention to what was happening. After the brawl, the Hamburgular wobbles toward Peter's table and steals his burger, and gets away.

"**What the hell?! That's twice my burger disappears in the same week!"** Peter says 20 minutes later, when he realizes that his burger was gone.

**End Of Flashback**

"**You're right. We aren't going to give up! We are going to peruse this criminal and take him down the hard way!"** Mayor West said. **"Now, to the Bat Mobile!"**

"**Uh…I kinda smashed your Bat Mobile earlier, remember?"** Peter said to Mayor West.

"**Oh yeah…"** Mayor West says. **"Well, we have one alternative…"**

Minutes later, Peter and Mayor West were seen exiting the Bat Cave, both riding on skateboards as they made their way into town.

**End of Chapter 8**

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	9. Bat Chase

**Downtown Quahog**

Once Mayor West and Peter arrived in town on their skateboards, they began scoping the area for clues on the whereabouts of the criminal.

"**Excuse me sir, we're looking for a suspicious man whose been robbing the people of Quahog the last few days. Know anything about him?"** Peter asked a man, who was in the middle of hijacking a car from an old woman.

"**Uh…nope, sorry, don't know anything about it…"** the man said, before taking off in the car.

"**Oh, I see…Hey wait a minute!!! That was him!!!"** Peter shouted to Mayor West.

"**Quickly! To the Bat Skateboards!"** Mayor West said as he and Peter hopped onto said skateboards and began perusing the criminal.

After several minutes of chasing the bad guy for several blocks, both men managed to catch up with him and his getaway car. Peter hops off the skateboard onto the car, reaching through the window and began punching the criminal as they zoomed down the street. Eventually, Peter got the upper hand in beating up the criminal, causing him to veer off the road and crash into the Quahog Police Station.

"**Good work, trusty sidekick,"** Mayor West said as he caught up to Peter.

"**What's going on out here?"** said Officer Swanson as he wheeled out of the Police Station.

"**We caught the villain that's been causing trouble all over Quahog!"** Peter said.

"**Excellent! Let's unmask him!"** Officer Swanson said as Mayor West pulled off the offender's mask.

All three men gasped.

"**Glenn Quagmire?!?"** everyone said in unison, staring at the horny, big chinned man.

"**Quagmire?! You're the criminals who's been on a stealing spree here in Quahog?!"** Peter said in amazement.

"**No, no! I sear it wasn't me! I was framed!"** Quagmire protested.

"**Then why were you trying to hijack that little old lady's car?"** Mayor West asked.

"**That little old lady was actually the real criminal in disguise! I was just out to find me a date when that jerk pulled me over and forced me to put on a disguise and lead you guys on a wild chase!"** Quagmire explained.

"**Damn, we were so close!"** Officer Swanson growled.

"**Would you happen to know where the real criminal would be heading next?"** Mayor West asked.

"**Well, he did say something about the old Wherehouse down by the dock…"** Quagmire said.

"**That's our next destination, let's go!"** Mayor West said, as he and Peter resumed the pursuit on their skateboards while Officer Swanson went back into the Police Station.

Quagmire was left all by himself.

"**Aw man, now w hat am I going to do for a date…"** Quagmire said to no one in particular.

That's when an old lady came up to him.

"**Excuse me young man, would you mind helping me cross the street?"** the old lady asked kindly.

"**Oh hell no, giggity!!!"** Quagmire yelped, running away from the old lady.

**End of Chapter 9**

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	10. Bat Fight

**Docks of Quahog**

"**There it is…that's where our criminal is currently hiding…"** Mayor West said.

He and Peter were at the docks scoping the area for the whereabouts of their target from behind a stack of barrels.

"**What, you mean that old abandoned Wherehouse? How do you know if that's the right place?"** Peter questioned Mayor West.

"**I used my Bat-Instincts to pinpoint our runaway criminal. Now, let us stealthily make our way inside and take him down once and for all,"** Mayor West said.

"**Right, Batman,"** Peter said as he stepped out from behind the barrels, only to trip over them and knock them over, making a huge racket that echoes throughout the docks. Both men froze as that happened.

Suddenly, several floodlights came on and were pointed right at the duo.

"**Oops…"** Peter said with a nervous laugh.

"**Oops?"** Mayor Wes said, raising an eyebrow.

"**Hey! It's Batman and Robin! Get them!!!"** said a voice as several rough looking sailors stormed out of the Wherehouse and surrounded the duo.

**"Oh crap…these must be the criminal's gang,"** Peter gulped. **"What do we do now?"** Peter asked.

"**We fight our way out with an old fashioned fist-fight, that's what!!!"** Mayor West said, cracking his knuckles.

Both men nodded and went separately to the nearest sailor to engage in hand-to-hand combat.

**BAM! SMACK! POW! SPLAT! CRACK! WHAP! SMASH! BAM! CRUNCH!**

Unfortunately for the duo, the sailors gave those attacks to them instead. Both men were knocked out cold after this failed battle of self-defense.

What will become of the Dynamically Stupid Duo?

**End of Chapter 10**

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	11. Bat Bounded

**Inside A Dark Room**

Peter and Mayor West woke up shortly after getting their asses beat by a bunch of sailors. They were in a pitch-black room, both bounded by ropes.

"**Hey, Batman…you awake?"** Peter asked.

"**Yes, I'm awake, trusty side-kick,"** Mayor West responded.

"**Um…what the hell just happened?"** Peter asked.

"**We were beaten by a bunch of seamen,"** Mayor West replied.

"**Heheh…seamen…"** Peter chuckled.

"**I must be getting too old for this kind of stuff. I haven't been humiliate this badly since that altercation involving the Riddler,"** Mayor West remembers.

**Flashback**

Mayor West reminisces about a fight he had with the Riddler back in the 1960s.

"**Come and get some, you crooked fiend,"** said Batman, closing in on the Riddler.

"**Oh hey look at that huge blimp behind you!"** Riddler said, pointing to something past Batman.

"**Mom?!"** Batman said, looking over his shoulder.

The Riddler then proceeds to grab Batman's underwear and give him a huge wedgie before running away.

"**Damn…that's going to leave an unruly stretch mark…"** Batman said, twitching from the sneaky attack.

**End of Flashback**

"**Don't say that, Batman! You'll never be to old to fight crime!"** Peter said to Mayor West.

"**Maybe you're right…"** Mayor West said.

"**Now, let's think of a way out of here!"** Peter said, hopping up onto his feet and hopping around the dark room…

**CRASH!!!**

…while tripping over a chair and crashing through a nearby wall.

From the wall Peter barreled through came a bunch of old tools.

"**Good work, trusty sidekick! You've located a tool shed! We can use whatever just spilled out to cut ourselves free,"** Mayor West says.

As the two readied to get themselves free, will they finally catch up to the serial thief? Stay tuned to the final chapter!

**End of Chapter 11**

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	12. Bat Final

**Main Warehouse Keep**

Inside the warehouse's main keep, the criminal and his gang of sailors were busy plotting their next ploy.

**"So where should we hit next?"** one of the sailors asked.

**"Let's return to Batman's mansion and raid the rest of his house. He and his stupid side-kick are no threat to us whatsoever,"** the criminal said with a grin.

**"That's what you think!"** said a voice from behind the gang.

Everyone turned around and saw that Mayor West and Peter had escaped from their concealed room.

**"What the?! Men, get them!"** the criminal said as he fled the room.

**"He's getting away!"** Peter said as the sailors closed in on them.

**"I have a plan to take out these ruffians,"** Mayor West said, pointing toward a giant harpoon and rope hanging on the wall.

Both men dodged the first wave of sailors and ran toward the wall. They grabbed the rope and harpoon and tied them together. With a mighty swing, both men flung it across the room, where it got stuck on the opposite wall. This caused all of the sailors to be clothes-lined upon running near the duo.

**"Good, that takes care of these…"** Mayor West began to say, when he was suddenly hit on the back of the head with a chair.

**CRACK!!!**

Mayor West turned around and immediately knocked the sailor's lights out with one punch, sending him through a nearby window.

**"Oh wow, that was great! How come you didn't fight like that earlier?"** Peter asked.

**"Oh, I've been hit on the back with chairs all through my career. Let's just say I'm quite tired of it. Now, let's move!"** Mayor West explained.

**Outside The Warehouse Near The Pier**

When both men got outside, they saw the criminal jump into his yacht filled with everything he stole.

**"Sayonara suckers!"** the criminal said, revving up the yacht and heading out to sea.

**"He's going to get away!"** Peter said.

**"He won't get far,"** Mayor West said, pulling out a device from his utility belt and throwing it toward the yacht. It landed near the fuel tank.

**BOOOM!!!**

It exploded, causing the criminal's yacht to begin sinking.

**"Oh no! All my stuff!!!"** the criminal yelled out in frustration. He pulled out his gun and fired a shot directly at Mayor West.

**BLAM!**

The bullet whizzed at him quickly. He had only one thing he could do.

As fast as he could, Mayor West pulled out an aerosol can and sprayed it at the bullet, stopping it immediately. The bullet just drops to the ground, now harmless.

**"What the?! How could a spray-can stop a bullet?"** Peter asked.

**"When you use Batman manufactured products, they can do just about anything,"** Mayor West said with a grin.

Moments later, the Quahog Police came into the scene via foot, boat, and chopper. They immediately surrounded the criminal and apprehended him. Several boats came and stopped the yacht from sinking all the way to save everything that was stolen.

**"Job well done, trusty side-kick,"** Mayor West said to Peter.

**"Thanks Batman! This was the greatest experience I've ever had, not like the other time when I got gamma ray fluid all over me and turned into the Hulk,"** Peter reminisces.

**Flashback**

Peter is seen running down the street, transformed into the Hulk, destroying everything in his path. He approaches a parked car and lifts it over his head. Suddenly, Peter turns back to his normal self, causing the car to collapse on him.

**"Stupid car…you won't like me when I'm angry again…you just wait till I turn into the Hulk again! …Uh…can someone get this car off of me?"** Peter said in a muffled voice.

**End of Flashback**

**"Great job you two! You're heroes now!"** Officer Swanson said, rolling up to them.

**"Does that mean we get statues of us made in our honor?"** Peter asked.

**"No, you'll just get a medal for your hard work,"** Officer Swanson said.

**"Dammit…"** Peter said.

**"Well, I'll be on my way. Time to go put this costume and Batman himself to rest for good,"** Mayor West said.

**"You're retiring? What about me? Do I have to return this costume as well?"** Peter asked.

**"Keep it. You've earned it,"** Mayor West aid. **"Farewell, trusty sidekick."**

Mayor West quickly took his leave via his bat-cable, disappearing from the scene in seconds.

_So ends the caper of the Dynamic Duo…_

_But what of the criminal?_

_Who was he anyways?_

_No one may ever know…_

**_End of Chapter 12_**

* * *

**The End!**

_**That's all folks! How did you like it? Please Review!!!**_


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